I had a good day today. That's all. I would write more but my brother and his friends spilled soda on the keyboard and its so freaking hard to type and my dad is using the other computer so yeah.

I wish good days were more often.

think i'm going for a walk now
i feel a little unsteady
i don't want nobody to follow me
'cept maybe you
i could make you happy you know
if you weren't already
i could do a lot of things
and i do

tell you the truth i prefer
the worst of you
too bad you had to have a better half
she's not really my type
but i think you two are forever
and i hate to say it but
you're perfect together

so fuck you
and your untouchable face
and fuck you
for existing in the first place
and who am i
that i should be vying for your touch
and who am i
i bet you can't even tell me that much

two-thirty in the morning
and my gas tank will be empty soon
neon sign on the horizon
rubbing elbows with the moon
a safe haven of sleepless
where the deep fryer's always on
radio is counting down
the top 20 country songs
and out on the porch the fly strip is
waving like a flag in the wind
y'know, i don't look forward
to seeing you again soon
you'll look like a photograph of yourself
taken from far far away
and i won't know what to do
and i won't know what to say

except fuck you...

i see you and i'm so perplexed
what was i thinking
what will i think of next
where can i hide
in the back room there's a lamp
that hangs over the pool table
and when the fan is on it swings
gently side to side
there's a changing constellation
of balls as we are playing
i see orion and say nothing
the only thing i can think of saying

is fuck you...


I hate boys. I am so done wasting my time with immature assholes with egos so large that they suffocate me when I am around said boy. It is just not worth the time and energy when some moron only sees you as an object of lust as opposed to an actual human being. Fuck you and your ego.

My ears hurt. Parents should stop fighting.

Well the meet vs. Indian Hills ended in a tie for the girls and a win for Ramapo boys, which is good for me because I get to rub it in my brother's and Brian's faces. The bad news is that because the girls didn't win I don't win the $15 bet that I made with my brother. The meet was so intense though. I was running around the pool and cheering like crazy. I got so into it which was wierd because I'm usually not that competitive. I guess it was because I had money riding on the win, haha. After the meet Brian and his brother Kevin graciously informed me that not only do I have a gambling problem, but I also suffer from road rage and anger issues. *shakes head* Those boys.

Anddd, oh my god. Okay so last weekend Brian came over to fix my computer and he had to do like wipe the hard drive or something so he had to put all the files onto my iPod. I must have asked him at least a million times if I all my songs would still be there and he assured me over and over that I wouldn't lose any songs. Well today while I was making flashcards for my bio test, I got this urge to listen to Fall Out Boy. So I scroll through my iPod only to discover that THERE IS NO FALL OUT BOY ON MY IPOD! I look closer to see that there is also no Panic! At The Disco, Dashboard Confessional, Something Corporate, Boys Night Out, Cartel, Motion City Soundtrack, or Houston Calls. And he promised that no songs would be lost! To make things worse, when I told him today at the meet, he didn't even care. But then I told his mom and she yelled at him, lol. I love his mom; she's so funny and cute.

Annddd, my grandpa came to the meet tonight and that made me happy because I love my grandpa.

Anddd, I read that The O.C. is getting cancelled, which is sad but it's been really sucking lately. Actually basically only the first season was good. But it's still sad. At least now I won't have to worry about taping it every Thursday while I watch Grey's Anatomy. Speaking of Grey's, WHEN THE HELL IS IT COMING BACK??? I am suffering some major Grey's Anatomy withdrawl. No joke.

Adios, bitches.

I have this theory that if you wear a good outfit, you'll have a good day. Today totally proved my theory. I wore my Ed Hardy hoodie that I got for Christmas and, not only did I get a bunch of compliments on it, I also had a really good day. It was Friday and I don't know, it was just an over all good day.

I just got back from a pasta party for high school swimming and this girl's house was so freaking big. It was literally like the perfect party house and it kind of made me mad because she totally wasn't using it to her advantage. I didn't even know that this girl was rich either. Like you never would've been able to tell because she doesn't wear designer clothes or anything. I don't understand why not, though. I mean if your that rich you might as well buy ridiculously overpriced clothes. I would. And if you have a sick party house and oblivious parents, you might as well have a kegger. I would. But that's just me.

Anddddd, I also saw that group in the LJ spotlight about reading 50 books this year and I decided I totally want to do it. I read so much anyway that I might as well. So far I have read Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom. 1 down, 49 to go.

Tomorrow we have a meet against Indian Hills High School, which is our rival and it's where my little brother and Brian swim. It's going to be really intense. Our girls are going to crush them, but I think with the boys it's going to be close. We better win though because I have money riding on this meet. Haha, don't have a gambling problem. Not at all.

So today I went to this leadership conference thing because I'm class treasure thus making me a "leader" or whatever. Anyway we were discussing leaders in different areas such as sports, entertainment, and politics. When we got to entertainment I said Bono because he started the product red charity and he's raising all this money to fight AIDS in Africa and a lot of people look up to him and he's just really awesome. And all of these kids were like, "Whose Bono?" Are you kidding me? You don't know who Bono is? Have you been living under a freaking rock?

Morons.

Oh man, I almost forgot to post today but then I remembered when I was taking a shower. Only the third day and I'm already slacking on this New Year's resolution. I need to get in the game!

I am so totally and completely exhausted. I could not fall asleep last night, probably because I spent a good part of yesterday sleeping. This morning I dragged myself out of bed and to school. Then after school I had a swim meet against Hackensack and unfortunately we lost. I got 3rd in the 200 IM and 2nd in the 100 backstroke. And now the Real World: Denver is going to be on in like two minutes but I can't watch it because I am so tired. MTV plays reruns every five seconds anyway.

Goodnight kids.

Well what a way to start off the New Year. I woke up this morning with a splitting headache, a scratchy throat, a stuffy nose, and I felt like I was going to vomit. So I went into my mom's room and she said that I should try to go to school anyway and I could always come home. That was the plan until I felt dizzy and the room started spinning and I almost passed out. Instead I spent the day alternating between sleep and season one of The O.C., which I will probably finish by tonight and then it's time for season two!

Anyway, I'm still feeling a little light headed but that's probably because I haven't had anything to eat all day except half a bowl of soup. It definitely means I'm sick when I don't eat because I have this problem where I eat massive quantities of food and the only reason I'm not 300 pounds is because I am obsessed with swimming.

Speaking of swim, that was my only real motivation to go to school today because if I don't go to school I can't go to swim and if I don't go to swim then I don't get to see Brian which just basically sucks. So now he's at practice and this stupid freshman girl, Sarah, is going to be all over him even though he's totally mine and she has no chance at all. Okay, well technically he's not mine yet, but I'm working on that.

So that's that. Back to The O.C.

"The way you spend New Year's Eve is the way you're going to spend the rest of your year," Summer Roberts informed Marissa Cooper during the season one New Year's Eve episode of The O.C. The episode ends with Ryan showing up seconds before midnight and sweeping Marissa off her feet by saying those three magic words-"I love you". It's one of those gross couple moments that are so cute that they kind of make you puke in your mouth a little bit.

I started 2006 off drinking tequilla straight from the bottle and swapping saliva with a boy who likes girls and guys. And sure enough, '06 reflected every bit of craziness that happened that night. This year, New Year's Eve was a little different. I rang in '07 by sitting in a hot tub with my best friends sipping champagne. It was nice and mellow. My friend Cali told me she didn't want her year to be mellow; she wanted craziness and excitement. As for me, I'm okay with mellow. In fact, I'm sort of embracing mellow. I had enough craziness last year. Now don't get me wrong, some of it was good crazy but I think I'll be okay if I don't go on any drunken rampages this year.

So, 2007. It sounds weird and I kind of miss the even sound of 2006, but time goes on and there's nothing I can really do about it. Except live my life. Therefore I have come up with a few New Year's resolutions to make '07 a little less crazy than '06:

1. Be Healthier. I don't mean just losing weight (not that I would object to that). But I'm talking more about eating right and excercising and taking better care of my body.
2. Get Better Grades. The good thing about this one is that not only will I have a better chance of getting into college but if I have good grades, my mom will stop bugging. Or at least not as much.
3. Control My Drinking. Let's face it, if I keep up my drinking habits of last year I'll only be earning myself a one way ticket to AA. I'm not going to give up drinking completely; I'm just going to control myself better. I'll have four shots instead of eight. And no more drunken hookups. What's the point of getting involved with someone who won't even remember your name the next day?
Which leads me to my next resolution. 4. Brian. Yeah, that guy I spent most of '06 chasing? Well this year, I'm done chasing. I'm not going to settle for any of his mind games or any of his back and forth shit. It's time to make it or break it. Hopefully, keeping with a the new mellow attitude of 2007, we'll make it.
And lastly, 5. This Journal. I've had other LJ accounts, as well as real paper journals, but I never seem to update as often as I'd like. And I have this problem where I can't really talk to people about my feelings and my problems, which leads everything to be kept bottled up inside, which usually results in nervous breakdowns, which are not very pretty. So the point of this journal is to write one entry for everyday of 2007. That means that by next New Year's Eve I'll be writing my 365th entry. This is a daunting task for someone who starts things but rarely ever finishes them, but I am more than ready for the challenge. Some days might be long entries, and others may be merely a funny quote. Either way I will write 365 entries by the end of this year.

And that's that. Here we go, full speed ahead into the year 2007. Hopefully I won't screw this up too much.